A lot of people always ask me this, and occasionally I find myself asking the same question: Why did I never learn to drive? Well, did I ever see the point? Did I 'eck...
I couldn't afford it when I was working at Iceland. Well, I suppose theoretically I could have done, since I was earning actually quite a reasonable sum of money, but there were always things that stood in the way, like saving up to go travelling this year or last year, or buying myself a new computer. Actually, I've been really self-indulgent, but in one small way at least I've saved the word from a bit of carbon emissions, even if they're not proven to be the cause of global warming.
Who knows? What's the alternative? Well, in my case, it's cycling. Every day for work I get up at 6:45am, walk around my house dazed and confused for 45 minutes, leave the house by bike and dash to the train station by bike. I jump on board the 0800 Central Trains CityLink service to: Cardiff Central and get off a few stops later, all for GBP3.80 a day. It's not a bad way to get to work, but sometimes it seems like hard work.
I don't reckon having a car would be significantly cheaper, if cheaper at all. It's more fun cycling, and it's better for you. Also, cyclists are scientifically proven to be better looking, better in bed, and smell better. It's true.
Damn right, it makes me a hippy, sweaty, tired and achy, probably less employable, a target for passport theft as that's my only form of ID, constantly worried about my bike and a source of much amusement amongst my petrol-guzzling friends and colleagues, but fuck it. I am awesome, because I'm a cyclist.
I don't even get honked at anymore. That may make me far leeter than anyone else.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Zero Hours Contracts - A Bet With The Devil
Some friends of mine (hard to believe, right) are having a bit of difficulty with an employer. Basically, they work in the service sector and they're stuck on a crappy zero-hours contract.
ZHCs look like they're excellent for employers, but thoroughly crap for employees. For the employer, they can call people in at the drop of a hat, "responding to demand" (lame) and minimising their contractual risk. It means you don't have to give people hours, basically, when there's no demand to do so.
This is a bit of an anti-capitalist whine, but seriously, this is pretty crap. If you're on a ZHC, you've basically got no job security. You don't know from one week to the next if you're going to have any hours. This means you don't know from one week to the next whether you'll be able to pay your bills. I've never been in the unfortunate position of having to rely on such contracts, but I imagine this is pretty stressful.
It's fine for people in some walks of life, such as students earning a bit of extra spending money, teenagers living at home still or any number of other lifestyles, but for serious grown-ups, it's a kick in the teeth to continually offer ZHCs as a viable contract of employment. The government should sit up and take notice, because this practice is on the rise - I'm sure a lot of those recently entering part-time employment are massively underemployed, especially in the cohort of young workers.
There are other, more sinister effects. Let's say you have a bit of a problem with your employer - harassment, health and safety, working conditions, or just asking for extra hours - and your employer takes a dislike to this. They can reduce your hours or completely cut them, completely within the remit of your contract. Or say you wanted to join a trade union and fight your corner. Again, your employer can turn around and say, "hey, sorry pal, I don't need you to come in this week." It's a redundancy by any other name, and it's creepy.
So not only can the employer lay you off in lull periods, but they're also going to have your undying support for changes in working conditions, poor health and safety practices, unfair harassment or dismissal charges and generally having a crap job, because if you don't tow the company line, you're not going to get any hours.
There's also some other minor issues, such as some employers demanding that their employees are "faithful" - i.e. they can only retain one ZHC at any one time. This sucks - you can't even have a bet with three devils. Oh sure, there're promises of "layover time payment" if you're kicking around waiting for a shift to start, but I don't see any reason for these ever existing in the more-or-less predictable world of consumer retail.
Some politicians in the UK have been discussing how such contracts can be abolished, but this is likely to be a long-term process. The outcome might very well be worse - very low hours contracts, for example, or general lay-offs as companies consolidate their list of employees. Our best hope is that a general code of conduct, with some kind of viable monitoring scheme, can be implemented by retailers.
I'd like to know in the mean-time whether there's anything I can recommend to my friends. Does anyone have any experience in fighting ZHCs? Is joining a trade union a viable solution? Or must they just grit their teeth, hunker down and weather the storm of craposity?
ZHCs look like they're excellent for employers, but thoroughly crap for employees. For the employer, they can call people in at the drop of a hat, "responding to demand" (lame) and minimising their contractual risk. It means you don't have to give people hours, basically, when there's no demand to do so.
This is a bit of an anti-capitalist whine, but seriously, this is pretty crap. If you're on a ZHC, you've basically got no job security. You don't know from one week to the next if you're going to have any hours. This means you don't know from one week to the next whether you'll be able to pay your bills. I've never been in the unfortunate position of having to rely on such contracts, but I imagine this is pretty stressful.
It's fine for people in some walks of life, such as students earning a bit of extra spending money, teenagers living at home still or any number of other lifestyles, but for serious grown-ups, it's a kick in the teeth to continually offer ZHCs as a viable contract of employment. The government should sit up and take notice, because this practice is on the rise - I'm sure a lot of those recently entering part-time employment are massively underemployed, especially in the cohort of young workers.
There are other, more sinister effects. Let's say you have a bit of a problem with your employer - harassment, health and safety, working conditions, or just asking for extra hours - and your employer takes a dislike to this. They can reduce your hours or completely cut them, completely within the remit of your contract. Or say you wanted to join a trade union and fight your corner. Again, your employer can turn around and say, "hey, sorry pal, I don't need you to come in this week." It's a redundancy by any other name, and it's creepy.
So not only can the employer lay you off in lull periods, but they're also going to have your undying support for changes in working conditions, poor health and safety practices, unfair harassment or dismissal charges and generally having a crap job, because if you don't tow the company line, you're not going to get any hours.
There's also some other minor issues, such as some employers demanding that their employees are "faithful" - i.e. they can only retain one ZHC at any one time. This sucks - you can't even have a bet with three devils. Oh sure, there're promises of "layover time payment" if you're kicking around waiting for a shift to start, but I don't see any reason for these ever existing in the more-or-less predictable world of consumer retail.
Some politicians in the UK have been discussing how such contracts can be abolished, but this is likely to be a long-term process. The outcome might very well be worse - very low hours contracts, for example, or general lay-offs as companies consolidate their list of employees. Our best hope is that a general code of conduct, with some kind of viable monitoring scheme, can be implemented by retailers.
I'd like to know in the mean-time whether there's anything I can recommend to my friends. Does anyone have any experience in fighting ZHCs? Is joining a trade union a viable solution? Or must they just grit their teeth, hunker down and weather the storm of craposity?
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Things I Have Learnt Today
Over the last few years it has come to my attention that, shock horror, discussion based on wondering and pondering is gradually disappearing.
This applies because when a conversation reaches a point where people aren't sure about something, the response is simply searched for on Google (other search engines areavailable shit). No wonder, no pondering, job done. Sometimes I long for the time when just not knowing was okay.
(Or when you wake up, sweating, in the middle of the night and shout "SPLINTER!" as you've just remembered the name of the rat from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from the conversation you had twelve hours ago. Thanks, brain.)
Whilst perhaps this has increased people's general knowledge, it's another example that our generation, like no generation before, is not good at learning things but is good at learning where to find things. Discuss.
Of course I should point out that I'm guilty as sin of this whole thing too. Today, for example, instead of making phone calls (or just being content with not knowing) I searched for several answers. See the following list.
This applies because when a conversation reaches a point where people aren't sure about something, the response is simply searched for on Google (other search engines are
(Or when you wake up, sweating, in the middle of the night and shout "SPLINTER!" as you've just remembered the name of the rat from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from the conversation you had twelve hours ago. Thanks, brain.)
Whilst perhaps this has increased people's general knowledge, it's another example that our generation, like no generation before, is not good at learning things but is good at learning where to find things. Discuss.
Of course I should point out that I'm guilty as sin of this whole thing too. Today, for example, instead of making phone calls (or just being content with not knowing) I searched for several answers. See the following list.
- The band Lostprophets (apparently formerly known as Lozt Prophetz, which is just stupid) had six permanent members at the time of their disbandment. This means they weren't a not-four-prophet organisation.
- It's not possible to have two people, using the same username and password, connecting to a single Windows RDP connection without one kicking the other off.
- It's relatively straightforward to write a simplistic folder monitor in DOS batch. It's really hard, apparently, to make a freeware GUI one that works the way I wanted it to.
- The DOS equivalent to the Unix command "pwd" is "echo %cd%". Dumb.
- Google Chrome Nanny is your friend (no really. Now I should add "blogger.com" to my black-listed URLs).
And that's just this morning. Oh joy.
Update from this afternoon:
Update from this afternoon:
- In Outlook 2010 (see yesterday's rant about how rubbish it is) you have to open a message to resend it as new. Then its under the "Move" panel under "Actions > Resend". Who knew (me, now).
- Also in Outlook 2010 (I'm learning gradually), there's no forgotten attachment check by default. That's bloody rubbish! How often do I forget to add attachments, goodness me, it must be daily. What mortals don't forget to add attachments?
Wow, what an interesting set of posts.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Possible Alternative Names for Windows 8
An Open Letter to Microsoft
Without meaning to deliberately follow in the footsteps of Ned Ludd, I wish to register my displeasure with the Grand Arbiter for their recent and latest release of a so-called "operating system". Of course, it's Windows 8, derided, despised, discarded.Come on, Micro$oft (couldn't resist). This is just a waste of a set of version numbers. It's not big, it's not clever and it certainly isn't funny. Unlike IT, which is certain big, clever and funny.
Between the inception of Windows 3.1 and Windows XP, there was a gradual ramp-up of technology and stylistic elements, leading ultimately to Windows XP, which I have used for many, many years. It is an excellent balance of normal use and power user use. It was, and please excuse me Linus, bloody excellent. But following this, every version has dumbed down. Gone are many of the power user elements. Gone are many of the wonderful tools which I actually flippin' needed to do my job. Gone is a workable and basic version of Paint, for frack's sake. All I feel I'm left with are shiny, colourful and ultimately hollow shapes, and it's really not amusing.
I understand the need to modernise, the need to move on from Windows 98SE and even from Windows XP (I know, radical move). But in moving to a silly app-based system, you've alienated me completely. I can't take these massive icons and glitzy animations seriously.
In emulating your arch-rivals, the sinful Apple Corporation, you've really achieved nothing. Look at this stuff. It's the ultimate victory of style over substance. You've basically spent a good deal of time polishing a turd, if that turd was Windows 7.
Alright, Windows 7 isn't thoroughly awful. Why, I hear you ask, do I think this? Touchscreen technology. Macroshit, whilst I understand that you think touchscreens and HUDs are the future, they're really not. Look around my office, and the offices of my peers, and the offices of pretty much everyone on the planet. Hey, look at most home users whilst you're at it. Who the frack is using touchscreens on their laptops and desktop computers? Pretty much nobody on the planet, that's who.
If your target market is preppy tweenagers looking at BaceFook and BlueTube all day, or even style-over-substance loving media moghuls in their ivory towers, then by all means pursue your target market, and I wish you every luck. But for pity's sake, please don't inflict awful operating systems on the rest of us. I'm not going to ask you to carry on support for old operating systems (although that would be nice). Maybe I'm not even going to ask you to release additional patches which make Windows 8 look more like, well, a useable operation system. Just please, make sure your next operating system isn't quite so crap. And give me Paint back.
(If you could also find it in your heart to release open-source versions of operating systems you've classified as "obsolete", most people in the galaxy would probably also be happy. Just a thought, and I don't suppose you will.)
In the mean-time, please enjoy the following list of alternative names for Windows 8.1 (and Office 2013, and Outlook 2010, and Microsoft, actually).
Yours Shamefully,
A Dissatisfied Customer
Possible Alternative Names
Windows 8.1
- Windows Hate
- Windows Wait
- Windows Late
- Windows Crate
- Windows Error Bait
- Windows Crash Spate
- Windoze 8
- Windows Bad Date
- Windows Deteriorate
- Windows Fate
- Windows Reprobate
- Windows Ain't No Fun
- Windows Infuriate
- Windows Please Wait
- Windows Beta
- Windows Frustrate
Office 2013
- Vexcel 2013
- Exhell 2013
- Urgh'd 2013
- Blurgh'd 2013
Outlook 2010
- Outf**k 2010
Microsoft Corporation
- Micro$oft
- Micros**t
- Macros**t
Of course, dear reader, should you wish to add your own, please do so. I'd be most happy to add virtually anything to the above list.
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